My Journey to
My Sacred Life
My name is Michael Condon.
The creation of SacredLife is the result of a profound awakening that motivated me to step out of “my story” and begin my journey toward truth. The awakening I experienced came from a place of complete collapse and despair. I had acquired all the external things in life that served as great window dressing and supported my story of being okay.
At the age of fiftyfive, I came to a breaking point and was faced with putting down the idea of who I thought I was. I realized that although I had achieved success in business and sobriety, behind that I was completely lost.
This was not the first time I had come to a place of feeling out of step with life. My life had been characterized by small pockets of trying to get “there,” only to find “there” empty. Following the conditioned model of happiness was not working, and at a deep level I knew it.
I guess who I thought I was could best be described as a recovered alcoholic with a business and a family. I had ticked all the usual boxes I could think of in this play of life.
During my surrender to alcoholism in 2009, I wrongly assumed I would recover and finally find inner peace within myself. Sobriety was a relief; it saved my life, kept my family intact, and protected my business. Behind that, I was a deeply resentful, angry man holding out the mask of being “okay.”
I had no idea why. The consumer model of life and following the accepted paradigm had left me spiritually bankrupt.
I could not have seen or admitted at the time that I was angry and incredibly lonely. I thought this was simply my lot in life, and I really didn’t like myself at all.
In the spring of 2022, I had an altercation with my father that proved to be the catalyst for a lifechanging awakening. Somehow, out of the worst moment of our relationship, an opportunity manifested.
He stopped speaking to my wife and me during the second day of our time together at my cottage. This was a familiar pattern that originated deep in my childhood. It meant he was disappointed in my behavior. Except this time, my reaction was explosive beyond any angry episode I had ever experienced.
I have only recently begun to process some of the deep trauma my family carried.
My dad would spend weeks and months not speaking to anyone when I was a young man. As a sociology professor, he treated me as more of a case study than a son. When he formed an opinion of my behavior, he would stop interacting with me for prolonged periods. This was extremely confusing for me as a young boy, and I developed many hangups about myself.
While sitting around a fire at my cottage, I told him I was considering retiring from my business. He went to bed, and the next day the old familiar silent routine was present.
My wife and I made the decision to take him home. My pattern of looking for validation and receiving the silent treatment percolated during a long, uncomfortable ride home.
When we arrived at his door, he spoke for the first time. I do not need to repeat what he said. It was a terrible insult that enraged me beyond any angry place I had ever visited.
I had witnessed this behavior my whole life. This day was no different—except that something inside me shifted. I came very close to wringing my father’s neck that day; years of repressed anger and hurt feelings began to boil.
During the ride home, I began to break apart. My wife begged me to pull over as I watched myself having a complete meltdown. It was as if I was being driven by a part of myself that, although unwelcome, was unstoppable.
The same part of me was activated that used to lead to a relapse in addiction. In relapses, I made decisions not to drink again, yet inexplicably drank anyway.
In alcoholism, we call these “peculiar mental blank spots.” My anger seemed connected to this phenomenon. I had made many decisions to “let things go” and stop acting out in these ways. I was always extremely disappointed in myself when they occurred. In moments like these, I would entertain thoughts of not being here anymore—and on this day, the feeling was stronger than ever.
The Fork in
the Road
I was completely exhausted by these burdens and had no idea what the answer was. I had already slayed addiction, yet here I sat wishing I could just leave quietly without hurting anyone. I needed help, but was supposed to be the guy who “knew.” My addiction, recovery, business owner character was supposed to know better and have answers.
I sat and reflected on this and knew I could not continue as I was. Friends and family had been telling me I was angry for years, and I finally saw it.
Something had to change. I knew I could not stand myself any longer. I found myself at a turning point. The message was clear: surrender was my only option.
Years earlier, while speaking to my first sponsor, I remembered a conversation about the ego and its power over us. When he left that night, I felt as though I had encountered an uncomfortable truth.
As I sat watching the pouring rain, I asked the universe what I should do. How deep was this pit of my egoidentified reality? Was it possible to transcend the thinking mind and become unburdened?
I created a new character as a “recovered alcoholic,” yet I was back where I started in 2009.
This epiphany felt connected, and it was then that I remembered a friend who had a deep spiritual experience I had witnessed unfold over the past year. He had found a woman in Toronto who facilitated awakenings using plant medicine. By the next morning, I decided to contact her.
This was not an easy decision. I had not consumed a mindaltering substance in thirteen years, and the idea frightened me. But continuing as I was frightened me more.
The Awakening
October 16, 2022
I drove to Toronto with butterflies in my stomach and eventually found myself seated across from a woman in a small apartment. We exchanged introductory conversation, and spoke about my intention for being there.
I explained where I thought I was in life and what that meant. Lovingly, she asked if it was possible that all of that was just a “story” and had nothing to do with who I truly was. Nobody had ever presented that idea to me like that.
She explained how the ceremony would work and asked if I was ready. We spoke my intention into the ether, and she served the medicine.
There is not one sentence that could accurately describe what happened next. I had a profound esoteric experience that was not only the most real event of my life but also unexplainable.
I became aware of a man’s voice shouting and realized it was mine. I was repenting for my life. Anger bubbled out of me as I truly believed I had died.
When my eyes opened, I was staring at a set of kitchen cupboards that were not mine. I wondered why I was on the floor. I heard a woman’s voice reminding me that I was in Toronto, alive, and had consumed medicine.
She spent the next two hours sitting with me, holding my hand while I wept. I knew I would never be the same. I had experienced the truth of myself in a way that made no sense to my thinking mind. But it was a deep knowing that has proven true to this day.
Over the next months, I absorbed everything she sent me. My roots grasped new soil, and I read many books.
Her teachings had one common denominator: Who are you really? Are you only a collection of stories? Or is there something deeper?
Each question came with a reminder not to follow anything dogmatically—these were playful markers, not absolute truth.
The question of the “story” returned repeatedly. I began to see that I was identified with a collection of stories. The events of my life had nothing to do with the truth of who I really am. They were only what had happened.
If you had asked me who I was, I would have told you the story of my life.
But that was not my life.
I was life itself. And this life is sacred.
Deepening My Quest
During my inner research, I explored various modalities and discovered the “Charles Berner Enlightenment Technique,” a grueling silent retreat in dyad form. The technique is designed to put egoic identification in a place of “no escape.”
Participants sit in pairs. One person is the witness; the other is the contemplator. The witness gives the imperative:
TELL ME WHO YOU ARE.
The contemplator responds with the most authentic experience arising in the moment. Every five minutes, roles switch. Every forty minutes, partners change.
By clearing what you are not, you begin to reveal who you are. Three intense fourteenhour days in noble silence can result in people waking up from their character and realizing themselves directly as “Life Itself.”
This aligned perfectly with my quest, and the synchronicity of its arrival blew my mind.
I volunteered as a monitor in these enlightenment intensives to stay close to this work. Another synchronicity soon appeared: “mind clearing,” created by the same teacher. This process accesses and clears deeply burdened parts. Charles Berner and his wife noticed that most people continued to repeat old patterns. This intrigued me deeply, as I was aware of mine.
Even though I could see truths about myself intellectually, I could not transcend them with my mind. You can’t fix mind with more mind; it’s like trying to hammer a nail with a nail. Our egoic mind cannot awaken. The more untruths I let go of, the more peace I received. Old patterns and beliefs continue to surface and be cleared.
Mind clearing allowed deep patterns to be experienced and communicated. It began to clear my traumas and create space for an alchemical shift.
Inwardly, my life began to change at a remarkable rate. What was once a conceptual idea of inner peace now felt grounded, stable, and available.
Putting down my story of who I thought I was became obvious. Moments felt expansive and full of life.
My path led me to explore breathwork. I tried a technique called “Breath Wave” and loved how much it opened me and grounded me in my being. I explored many others and began to weave everything together in my life.
Inwardly, I had been reorganized. The idea that this presence was available to me every single minute felt like the most real thing I had ever experienced.
Moments that used to infuriate me no longer took me off center for long. Faith appeared in my life at an exponential rate. I became less interested in judgement and more interested in helping others.
I walked into my business of 25 years and made the heartfelt decision to retire. Working since I was a young man in the system of life had long felt incomplete. It was clear I had to do this. Although I was proud of my accomplishments, I could no longer identify with that role. It came with fear and loss, but I trusted my heart’s intuition.
I’m not saying retirement is anyone else’s truth—it is simply mine.
I enrolled in a twoyear clearing program and quickly realized that 15 years of working with addicts would be a tremendous asset. A question that had surfaced years earlier—How deep is the ego’s control? —was finally being answered.
The answer is YES—it can be transcended.
Thinking about my problems didn’t solve them. I had to deconstruct my character. Not because it was bad—but because it wasn’t really me at all.
Working with my shadow patterns, I began to integrate these experiences. My capacity has widened continually since, though not without setbacks and minirelapses into old patterns. I continue to face my patterns today. I try to feel them fully and see them for what they are. Shifting out of them has become more accessible.
I have been able to pivot from a minddirected life and connect with my true self more readily.
Externally, my relationships improved. Living from my being, I began to see life with a new pair of glasses.
The last thing I’ll point out playfully is that everything I just explained is still a “story.”
Throughout my whole life, I wondered why I was here and what the purpose of all this was. Running a company and filling my home with things was not it. My “okay” mask wasn’t real, and I couldn’t hold it up any longer.
Our stories are beautiful, and I still have a character. I’m simply learning to hold it less tightly and open to what this life truly is.
A Quick Look at “The Hero’s Journey”
Joseph Campbell recognized a pattern running through all stories—including the Bible and the life of the Buddha. We can find some form of this metaphor in every movie, book, or story.
It is our story.
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Our character lives behind a mask and suffers.
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We experience a deep knowing that something is wrong.
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A turning point appears—often through suffering.
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We step out of the dream and walk toward our true selves.
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Mentors appear in synchronicity.
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Fear, temptation, and false barriers arise—but they are mindgenerated and not real.
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We step into life as Life Itself and begin to integrate into our truest purpose.
Realizing that THIS is a path we stand on
WHY...
Before I explain my offerings, I want to share my WHY.
Early in my recovery from alcoholism, I was taught the value of service to others.
Early on, I began to see that nothing ensured safety from my disease better than offering my time to help the newcomer.
The mentors that appeared in my life early in my surrender gave their time endlessly. These men showed me that to get well from my disease, service to others needed to be at the top of my list. I was suffering spiritually /physically /mentally at the time, but did what I was told out of desperation.
As a result, a remarkable thing began to happen. I realized that when helping others, I would not think about drinking or using at all. Showing up early to meetings, staying late. Going with senior members to meet with newcomers taught me a deep empathy for others and always got me out of my head where my problem lived. It seemed the cure to what I was suffering from had very little to do with alcohol and everything to do with my attachment to my mind’s constant focus on suffering.
It kept me safe and protected in the early going when relapse was a reality. I would find myself with moments of peace, and I began to take it seriously. As the months of sobriety turned into years, I volunteered endless hours of my time and continue to sponsor men to this day. Watching others walk in completely broken and stuck and begin to re-enter their lives has proved to be one of biggest joys in my life to this day.
As a result, I began to hone my skill with holding space for others and meeting them right where they were with no judgement. I’m very clear that I’m meant to serve people. My seventeen years of service and witnessing people recover ended up being the entire key.
My decision to continue to deepen my service to others came during a big epiphany in the summer of 2024. While driving north I suddenly was struck with the knowing that THIS is a path. It was as though I wasn’t driving down the road but driving through this universe. The sides of the road resembled the sides of the path. And the knowing that this life is a sacred gift filled me with love. It was a deep realization that landed in my soul. It felt like a deep knowing.
Later that week, the sacred life idea came to me organically. It was obvious that my retirement would need service to others to be at the top of the list.
I offer to help point toward this SacredLife in a playful, earnest way. I am at your service—not from a place of knowledge, but from reverence and wonder.
I would be deeply honoured to help you journey to your true, powerful self and the peace within you.
Contact me at yourlife@sacred-life.ca
To schedule a complimentary Discover Your Sacred Life Consultation.